Dear Lord,
I give you thanks for seeing me thru' my troubles and trials along the way as a Christian.
2nd round of Alpha had started running. This time round I am the L2.. Helping pre-believer to come to know that God is real.. While not at my spiritual height, the last alpha course had perhaps helped me in my preparation for this round.
Looking back, I guess I am not as enthusiastic as the previous year. Still remember myself going thru' the web to search for answers to the questions we received. Perhaps the participants in the group do not have much questions that's why. But perhaps it could be more than meets the eye.
Lord, honestly, I serious hate this "waiting room" experience.. I really hope at times that my prayers are answer right on the spot. I know I kept telling everyone that You will only answer prayers in Your own timing, when You deem right. Somehow I find it easier to convince others than to convince myself. I am sorry for my lack of faith.
I am scared, Lord.. I am really scared.. I am scared that I am waiting for nothing.. I am scared that my prayers will never be answer as You may have other plans for me.. I really hope my prayers will be answered. I really hope my 3rd prayer will be fulfilled..
Lord. Help me in my disbelief. Help me to trust You more and to follow Your way.. Give me the faith of a mustard seed and more, so that when my desire and Your wish is in line, even the mountain will move upon request. Help me, Lord.
In Jesus most precious and holy name,
Amen.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Discerning problem..
Dear Lord,
Am i discerning Your word wrongly? Or is she really the one for me?
I prayed all day, and all night.. The prayers I made before my sleep has always been the same since the day that will never be the same again.. Or so I tot..
Before this, consistent prayers has always been my problem, yet after knowing her, I pray unceasingly.. Somehow I always feel that the answer to my heart's desire is her..
At times, I feel that she is indeed the one.. At times, I feel that she is just another joke You have for me..
Out of the 3 major prayers that I have asked for, 2 have been heard and granted.. Yet the last of the prayer is also the one most close to my heart.. I know that things will be done according to Your timing, and rightly so.. But I am sorry, I just cant stop myself from pondering over the issue time and time again.. It seems all too important to me that I cant stop..
A strong Christian, she is.. She has more than met the criteria that I set for a girlfriend..
Lord, all is in place now.. just waiting for Your approval, Your intervention and Your anointing..
Lord, if it is Your will, please grant my heart's desire..
All these I pray in Jesus most precious and holy name,
Amen
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Thai Students
Dear Heavenly Father,
Greetings.. It's been some time since I last post anything here.. Haha..
Anyway, Lord.. Just to update you.. I am really glad that you have sent the Thai Students to our mist.. I had totally enjoy myself during this period of 1 week.. Granted it does burn quite a bit of my pocket, but I feel the money is really well spent.. I really love kids, and you just send more kids to come into my mist.. Haha.. What a wonderful Father you are.. :D
Unfortunately they have gone back to Thailand already.. But I did gain a couple of new friends via this trip.. And I realised that there are so many people of my age group who are really giving their lives to you, and to reach out to the world in hope to save them.. Lord, please bless Juliana, Joeyee and the likes that they will continue to do your work and to be a blessing to others via You..
Lord, may you also help to bring the 10 thai kids to come to know you more, so that they can be saved too? In Singapore, we have pretty much done our part thru' your blessings. Hopefully in Thailand, there will be people to help to follow up on them..
Oh oh oh! Almost forgot.. Thanks a lot for giving us mostly good weathers.. The trip was almost perfect.. With the kids able to go to all the places where Gregory and Aunty Jane had planned.. And despite the rain during the day in Zoo, it did not dampen our mood and we still manage to visit most of the enclosures..
It is really a wonderful week for me, Lord.. Thanks for always being there for me, being by my side when I most needed you, and giving me wisdom in knowing Your words better these days.. It is really wonderful to know that despite me falling away for about 1 1/2 years, You are still there for me, waiting for me, helping me, pulling me back up on my feet and helping me to grow stronger in You..
Lord, really thank you alot..
Lord, it has been a long long time since I really last prayed for others.. Let me revive that practise here once more.. =)
@Thai Students
Lord, may You have mercy on them and grant them with a soften heart that they may be more open to You and that there will be someone who will follow up on them so that in time to come, they will come to know you and walk this path with you.. May you grant them peace and safety back at home, as there are severe flooding in Thailand.. Lord, please protect them and their families that the flood will not reach their place..
@Thai Missionaries - Aunty Jane, Pramote, Gung, Bew
Lord, may You continue to look over them as they go back to Thailand.. May You be their strength as the continue to serve you with all their hearts and help them to be able to grow the church so that they are able to reach out to more provinces and follow up on more people. Please protect them
@Juliana
Lord, May you strengthen her as she continue to do Your work.. She seems to be very busy that she has been missing her cell groups and all.. Lord, may You protect her and not let her overwork herself. Grant her a pink of health as she continue to reach out to the students in NUS and also to follow up with them. May you grant her and the other Crusaders in the organizing of the up and coming Student Conference at the end of this year. May you also grant her the wisdom to juggle her time well so that she will be able to handle all the stress and still manage to go for her young adults cell group.
@JoeYee
Lord, may You be with her as she continue to put you as her priority. Doing full time Campus Crusade, part time Thai studies, and elective Psychology.. If I didnt remember wrongly that is..
@LKBC
Lord, may You be with our church so that as the youths continue to study more in depth into 2 Thessalonians, do grant us wisdom to know what are You trying to convey to us. Thank you for finally bring the 10 week Alpha course to an end, I guess everyone had really gain something. Lord, may you continue to bless the Alpha course as we enter into the next 5 follow up Alpha Course.
@XiaoYen
Lord, may You take care of her as her brother is currently working in Brunei.. She is pretty much the only person in Singapore now.. Lord, may you protect her and let her have lighter workload.. She seems to be so busy these days.. Lord.. Please guard over her..
@XianHuan
Lord, may You grant her the craving to know you more and to seek you with enthusiasm. May You take care of her so that she will be able to stand on her own and attend church with her own will. May You guard over her and teach her the right things about You.
@Me, Myself and Ivan
Lord, May you continue to guard over me, that I will stand strong in Your words and that nothing shall stumble me as I am holding you as my pillar of support. Lord, may you always be there for me and grant me the wisdom to be able to reach out to more people in my surrounding so that they too, may come to know you and to accept you as their Lord and Saviour.. Lord, as clearly my evangelism isnt exactly my forte, please grant me someone who can teach me how to reach out to those around me, so that I wont lose them before I even start saving them. Lord, may you also help me to decide whether I should go to Thailand this year for mission trip, as even until now, I am still in two minds whether to go. There are people who told me to stay back since I am having some doubts, but there are also some people who gave me the green light to go.. Lord, I really need your guidance in this.
Really thank you, Lord, for listening to me in all these Prayers
All these I pray in Jesus most precious name,
Amen!
Greetings.. It's been some time since I last post anything here.. Haha..
Anyway, Lord.. Just to update you.. I am really glad that you have sent the Thai Students to our mist.. I had totally enjoy myself during this period of 1 week.. Granted it does burn quite a bit of my pocket, but I feel the money is really well spent.. I really love kids, and you just send more kids to come into my mist.. Haha.. What a wonderful Father you are.. :D
Unfortunately they have gone back to Thailand already.. But I did gain a couple of new friends via this trip.. And I realised that there are so many people of my age group who are really giving their lives to you, and to reach out to the world in hope to save them.. Lord, please bless Juliana, Joeyee and the likes that they will continue to do your work and to be a blessing to others via You..
Lord, may you also help to bring the 10 thai kids to come to know you more, so that they can be saved too? In Singapore, we have pretty much done our part thru' your blessings. Hopefully in Thailand, there will be people to help to follow up on them..
Oh oh oh! Almost forgot.. Thanks a lot for giving us mostly good weathers.. The trip was almost perfect.. With the kids able to go to all the places where Gregory and Aunty Jane had planned.. And despite the rain during the day in Zoo, it did not dampen our mood and we still manage to visit most of the enclosures..
It is really a wonderful week for me, Lord.. Thanks for always being there for me, being by my side when I most needed you, and giving me wisdom in knowing Your words better these days.. It is really wonderful to know that despite me falling away for about 1 1/2 years, You are still there for me, waiting for me, helping me, pulling me back up on my feet and helping me to grow stronger in You..
Lord, really thank you alot..
Lord, it has been a long long time since I really last prayed for others.. Let me revive that practise here once more.. =)
@Thai Students
Lord, may You have mercy on them and grant them with a soften heart that they may be more open to You and that there will be someone who will follow up on them so that in time to come, they will come to know you and walk this path with you.. May you grant them peace and safety back at home, as there are severe flooding in Thailand.. Lord, please protect them and their families that the flood will not reach their place..
@Thai Missionaries - Aunty Jane, Pramote, Gung, Bew
Lord, may You continue to look over them as they go back to Thailand.. May You be their strength as the continue to serve you with all their hearts and help them to be able to grow the church so that they are able to reach out to more provinces and follow up on more people. Please protect them
@Juliana
Lord, May you strengthen her as she continue to do Your work.. She seems to be very busy that she has been missing her cell groups and all.. Lord, may You protect her and not let her overwork herself. Grant her a pink of health as she continue to reach out to the students in NUS and also to follow up with them. May you grant her and the other Crusaders in the organizing of the up and coming Student Conference at the end of this year. May you also grant her the wisdom to juggle her time well so that she will be able to handle all the stress and still manage to go for her young adults cell group.
@JoeYee
Lord, may You be with her as she continue to put you as her priority. Doing full time Campus Crusade, part time Thai studies, and elective Psychology.. If I didnt remember wrongly that is..
@LKBC
Lord, may You be with our church so that as the youths continue to study more in depth into 2 Thessalonians, do grant us wisdom to know what are You trying to convey to us. Thank you for finally bring the 10 week Alpha course to an end, I guess everyone had really gain something. Lord, may you continue to bless the Alpha course as we enter into the next 5 follow up Alpha Course.
@XiaoYen
Lord, may You take care of her as her brother is currently working in Brunei.. She is pretty much the only person in Singapore now.. Lord, may you protect her and let her have lighter workload.. She seems to be so busy these days.. Lord.. Please guard over her..
@XianHuan
Lord, may You grant her the craving to know you more and to seek you with enthusiasm. May You take care of her so that she will be able to stand on her own and attend church with her own will. May You guard over her and teach her the right things about You.
@Me, Myself and Ivan
Lord, May you continue to guard over me, that I will stand strong in Your words and that nothing shall stumble me as I am holding you as my pillar of support. Lord, may you always be there for me and grant me the wisdom to be able to reach out to more people in my surrounding so that they too, may come to know you and to accept you as their Lord and Saviour.. Lord, as clearly my evangelism isnt exactly my forte, please grant me someone who can teach me how to reach out to those around me, so that I wont lose them before I even start saving them. Lord, may you also help me to decide whether I should go to Thailand this year for mission trip, as even until now, I am still in two minds whether to go. There are people who told me to stay back since I am having some doubts, but there are also some people who gave me the green light to go.. Lord, I really need your guidance in this.
Really thank you, Lord, for listening to me in all these Prayers
All these I pray in Jesus most precious name,
Amen!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Improving Due To God
Dear Lord,
Thanks for everything that has happened to me in the past few months..
I feel that as I am getting back on track with You, my knowledge about you starts improving and I am able to give praise unto you for all things that happen in my life.
Thanks for listening to all my prayers, granting them at Your own designated time and way. Out of the 3 prayers which I made earlier this year, the first 2 had already been kind of answered. I know what is my direction in life and I am getting closer to you once again.
But the last one still waiting for Your reply.. The one on asking for a soul partner who is equally God fearing.. Do reply it soon.. :D
In Jesus most precious name,
Amen..
Thanks for everything that has happened to me in the past few months..
I feel that as I am getting back on track with You, my knowledge about you starts improving and I am able to give praise unto you for all things that happen in my life.
Thanks for listening to all my prayers, granting them at Your own designated time and way. Out of the 3 prayers which I made earlier this year, the first 2 had already been kind of answered. I know what is my direction in life and I am getting closer to you once again.
But the last one still waiting for Your reply.. The one on asking for a soul partner who is equally God fearing.. Do reply it soon.. :D
In Jesus most precious name,
Amen..
Thursday, July 7, 2011
God Answered My Prayers, But I Wasn't Ready To Receive.
Dear Lord,
Is that really true? Or at least that was the answer I tot I received from You when I last visited the Botanic Gardens on yesterday.
Somehow I really feel that it seems that way..
It has been for quite sometime since the first time I prayed that prayer for a partner. If I am not wrong, ever since I had more or less gotten over Donna, I have been praying for a partner.
Girls came and went. Some good ones really came past my path, some bad ones too.. But none of them seems to be sent by You except for one. She was really someone whom I tot was Your answer to my prayers.
The reason why I felt that way was because the meeting with her was really under such a circumstance that without all the things that had happen before that, I will never have met her. This is one of the surest thing I would say.
Things took a turn interestingly after PX. Most of the people I am close to now would never have come into my path had it not been for the turn in the PX incident. And it was also that incident that I really grew up a lot.
After her, I think it was You who had sent that girl into my path, perhaps to help me, perhaps to bring me closer to You, perhaps just to answer the desperate cry from Your servant here.
Nevertheless, come to think about it, I wasnt ready for the prayer to be answered there and then. I was still having a hard time getting over PX. I still wasnt sure of my feelings then. I still wasnt sure of myself. With every time that I went out with her then, the past would just come and haunt me. With every step that I took, it was all thorns. It was painful then. Time interval between PX and the prayer being answer seems too short a time for healing to be complete, at least in human terms, in my terms.
Coming back to the present, after seeking so much guidance from everyone, ranging from Pastors to Counselors to You, my Lord, I guess I can finally move on from here. Pastor Annie said some very comforting words to me during the church retreat when I consulted her on my incident. Unlike everyone else who just told me to "let go" without offering other better solutions (as in if I can let go, I would have long done it isn't it?) Instead, what Pastor Annie said was that "it is fine, I just needed more time to get over emotional hurts. Not everyone is the same. Some take days, some takes months, and there are people like me who may take slightly longer. But what is true is that God will still look after us and help us."
That was really very comforting to me, cos I have never seen it in that way before. I had always been looking for "steps" to help myself in my situation, looking for a solution, but I have never seen it as just a normal path that I need to take. Moving On and Letting Go doesnt mean that I just say I surrender everything or I decide to do it and it just just happen. It takes time.. Or in my case, a very long time.
But while time is a variable in this, healing is definitely a constant, something that will definitely take place over time. With the Grace of You, my Lord, all healing will definitely take place, just as what Jesus did when He came to Earth. As long as faith is there, healing will follow.
My Lord, I guess I am ready this time round. I have spend lots of time thinking thru' lots of things recently, and I am pretty sure I will be able to handle it when You answer my prayer this time round. I really hope, Lord, that You will give me another chance.
Thankyou Lord,
In Jesus Most Precious Name I Pray,
Amen.
Is that really true? Or at least that was the answer I tot I received from You when I last visited the Botanic Gardens on yesterday.
Somehow I really feel that it seems that way..
It has been for quite sometime since the first time I prayed that prayer for a partner. If I am not wrong, ever since I had more or less gotten over Donna, I have been praying for a partner.
Girls came and went. Some good ones really came past my path, some bad ones too.. But none of them seems to be sent by You except for one. She was really someone whom I tot was Your answer to my prayers.
The reason why I felt that way was because the meeting with her was really under such a circumstance that without all the things that had happen before that, I will never have met her. This is one of the surest thing I would say.
Things took a turn interestingly after PX. Most of the people I am close to now would never have come into my path had it not been for the turn in the PX incident. And it was also that incident that I really grew up a lot.
After her, I think it was You who had sent that girl into my path, perhaps to help me, perhaps to bring me closer to You, perhaps just to answer the desperate cry from Your servant here.
Nevertheless, come to think about it, I wasnt ready for the prayer to be answered there and then. I was still having a hard time getting over PX. I still wasnt sure of my feelings then. I still wasnt sure of myself. With every time that I went out with her then, the past would just come and haunt me. With every step that I took, it was all thorns. It was painful then. Time interval between PX and the prayer being answer seems too short a time for healing to be complete, at least in human terms, in my terms.
Coming back to the present, after seeking so much guidance from everyone, ranging from Pastors to Counselors to You, my Lord, I guess I can finally move on from here. Pastor Annie said some very comforting words to me during the church retreat when I consulted her on my incident. Unlike everyone else who just told me to "let go" without offering other better solutions (as in if I can let go, I would have long done it isn't it?) Instead, what Pastor Annie said was that "it is fine, I just needed more time to get over emotional hurts. Not everyone is the same. Some take days, some takes months, and there are people like me who may take slightly longer. But what is true is that God will still look after us and help us."
That was really very comforting to me, cos I have never seen it in that way before. I had always been looking for "steps" to help myself in my situation, looking for a solution, but I have never seen it as just a normal path that I need to take. Moving On and Letting Go doesnt mean that I just say I surrender everything or I decide to do it and it just just happen. It takes time.. Or in my case, a very long time.
But while time is a variable in this, healing is definitely a constant, something that will definitely take place over time. With the Grace of You, my Lord, all healing will definitely take place, just as what Jesus did when He came to Earth. As long as faith is there, healing will follow.
My Lord, I guess I am ready this time round. I have spend lots of time thinking thru' lots of things recently, and I am pretty sure I will be able to handle it when You answer my prayer this time round. I really hope, Lord, that You will give me another chance.
Thankyou Lord,
In Jesus Most Precious Name I Pray,
Amen.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Fantastic Church Camp
Dear Lord,
It's been a long time since I last updated on this post as a chat with you. But at times I couldn't help but marvel at your immerse grace and love that you have showered upon me. I really thank you for bringing me to LK as well as to CCBC's church retreat.
There was a period in time where I am seriously losing sight of you.. Your image seems so blur that I thought I couldn't see you. Those were the times where all emotional hurts from the past just came flooding to the extent that I thought I would have been drowned in them. Yet with you, I found peace, I found strength, and I found wisdom in moving on to another church.
I have been back-sliding for more than 2 years now. Yet you did not leave me, but instead, brought me to a church where the sermons really speak to my situation; brought me to a church camp, which I had a very good chat with Pastor Annie about my situation and how to move on..
From Pastor Annie, I learned that I just have to go back to my basics, something sort of a revelation to me. I had always been looking for solutions to salvage or to prevent my situation from worsening, yet I didn't realised that going back to Christianity basics may just be the way to go.
But to be honest Lord, while I know that all things that I have belongs to You, and You have sole rights to all the things that I own, but at times I can't help but wonder, Why?
Perhaps it is just because I am still in the situation, that's why I couldn't see out of the box. And I know that once I am out, I will know the reason, just as it did in the Donna's situation years back.
But nevertheless, Lord, I know You will always be there for me when I need You. Lord, all I pray for now is that You will continue to carry me across in these tough sands. Lord, I know You will provide. I know that I will have peace with You around. Lord, please give me the required strength to move on, and to move closer to You.
Thankyou Lord, for everything you have done in my life.
In Jesus most precious name,
Amen
It's been a long time since I last updated on this post as a chat with you. But at times I couldn't help but marvel at your immerse grace and love that you have showered upon me. I really thank you for bringing me to LK as well as to CCBC's church retreat.
There was a period in time where I am seriously losing sight of you.. Your image seems so blur that I thought I couldn't see you. Those were the times where all emotional hurts from the past just came flooding to the extent that I thought I would have been drowned in them. Yet with you, I found peace, I found strength, and I found wisdom in moving on to another church.
I have been back-sliding for more than 2 years now. Yet you did not leave me, but instead, brought me to a church where the sermons really speak to my situation; brought me to a church camp, which I had a very good chat with Pastor Annie about my situation and how to move on..
From Pastor Annie, I learned that I just have to go back to my basics, something sort of a revelation to me. I had always been looking for solutions to salvage or to prevent my situation from worsening, yet I didn't realised that going back to Christianity basics may just be the way to go.
But to be honest Lord, while I know that all things that I have belongs to You, and You have sole rights to all the things that I own, but at times I can't help but wonder, Why?
Perhaps it is just because I am still in the situation, that's why I couldn't see out of the box. And I know that once I am out, I will know the reason, just as it did in the Donna's situation years back.
But nevertheless, Lord, I know You will always be there for me when I need You. Lord, all I pray for now is that You will continue to carry me across in these tough sands. Lord, I know You will provide. I know that I will have peace with You around. Lord, please give me the required strength to move on, and to move closer to You.
Thankyou Lord, for everything you have done in my life.
In Jesus most precious name,
Amen
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Fasting Ended
Dear Lord,
Thanks for bringing me thru' this 5 days of prayer fasting.. Somehow despite the fact that I gave myself a backdoor to back out after 3 days, you managed to help me pull thru the entire 5 days of pure fasting just for you..
Thanks you so much Lord..
I really hope my prayers is heard..
Thanks..
In Jesus Most Precious Name I Pray,
Amen!
Thanks for bringing me thru' this 5 days of prayer fasting.. Somehow despite the fact that I gave myself a backdoor to back out after 3 days, you managed to help me pull thru the entire 5 days of pure fasting just for you..
Thanks you so much Lord..
I really hope my prayers is heard..
Thanks..
In Jesus Most Precious Name I Pray,
Amen!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Fasting Again!
Dear Lord..
I will be going thru another round of fasting for the week. This time round my target is to fast until end of Friday. The fasting for this time is also for the 3 main prayer pointers, which is for my career, for my relationship, and for my spirituality..
I am also praying for the opening of door for my parents to acquire over the childcare centre in Jurong area.. Hopefully we will manage to get the amount of funds required..
Lord, over the last fasting, I realised quite a lot of things, and I can almost see you in all parts of my life, working on me, drawing me closer to you as the days passed.. I can literally feel that I am getting closer and closer to you.. As in spiritual wise.. Its been so long since I last had such kind of feeling..
Anyway Lord, thankyou for all your blessings.. Lord, this time round, my fasting is also in conjunction with my birthday which will be this coming sunday, 20th of march..
Lord, I will be 26 year old soon.. Please watch over me and guide me along.. I am still pretty much lost in the wilderness.. I need that light, that arm of yours and that reassurance of your words and presence to lead me, guide me and walk beside me, to show me the way..
Lord, really thank you for your time to listen to your servant's prayers..
Thank you Lord..
All this I asked sincerely in Jesus' Most Precious Name,
Amen.
I will be going thru another round of fasting for the week. This time round my target is to fast until end of Friday. The fasting for this time is also for the 3 main prayer pointers, which is for my career, for my relationship, and for my spirituality..
I am also praying for the opening of door for my parents to acquire over the childcare centre in Jurong area.. Hopefully we will manage to get the amount of funds required..
Lord, over the last fasting, I realised quite a lot of things, and I can almost see you in all parts of my life, working on me, drawing me closer to you as the days passed.. I can literally feel that I am getting closer and closer to you.. As in spiritual wise.. Its been so long since I last had such kind of feeling..
Anyway Lord, thankyou for all your blessings.. Lord, this time round, my fasting is also in conjunction with my birthday which will be this coming sunday, 20th of march..
Lord, I will be 26 year old soon.. Please watch over me and guide me along.. I am still pretty much lost in the wilderness.. I need that light, that arm of yours and that reassurance of your words and presence to lead me, guide me and walk beside me, to show me the way..
Lord, really thank you for your time to listen to your servant's prayers..
Thank you Lord..
All this I asked sincerely in Jesus' Most Precious Name,
Amen.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Fasting Begins
Dear Lord,
Just visited Botanic Gardens again on Monday.. Have been going there for the past couple of Monday to have a personal quiet time with you alone..
This is the first time in many visits that I decided not to bring any bread with me so that I can focus fully on you alone..
I prayed for 3 things..
1. For Career
I have been out of job for some time now.. While I am looking into other sources of income, I have yet to get an income until now.. Lord, do show me the career that you want me to be in.. While money is not the main priority in my life perhaps, but I guess I still need a fairly decent amount to be able to sustain my lifestyle as well as for future usage.. Lord, do show me the way.
2. For Love
Lord, ShuShyan just got married last saturday. David will be getting married this saturday.. Haiz.. Lord, everyone is getting married le.. I had been praying to look for a partner who will accept me for who I am, a partner who is a God fearing one, who would worship you as I do.. Yet Lord, after the departure of Donna, I have yet to find that person.. There are many girls who come past my life, but mostly non-christians..
Perhaps I would have gone out with them in the past.. But since I study Corinthians in greater depth.. There is no way I am going to go against your teachings. Perhaps I am scared already.. Ever since so many incidents that had got to do with me getting too close to a non-christian, I am fearful already.. Its Christian, or there is no other girls..
Lord, I know of a nice Christian girl whom you showed to me some 1 year ago.. that was during the lowest point of my life.. Lord, is she the one, or is the one for me yet to appear? Do enlighten me Lord..
3. For Spirituality
Lord, I have been back sliding for some time now.. thankfully with you around I have been able to track my spiritual health and thus able to do the small things that I can do to stop the rot.. But there are still much to do and much to heal..
I guess my future lies beyond CCBC.. This is the first time i feel so strongly for this decision.. For the first time, Uncle Tim had offered me a route to another church, together with Aunty Mabel telling me that I have to be happy with the church before I can learn and grow in the Lord..
Indeed, I haven been growing for quite some time now.. Even EShen told me to leave the church, not because I want, but because I have to.. We share the same feeling that CCBC is no longer the church it used to be.. And himself, like me, find it so hard to move on to another church cos CCBC is still the first church we attended.. Its like asking someone to leave their home to go to somewhere unknown.. That is not a very nice thing to do or to experience..
Anyway, this is the first time I guess i got an answer from you.. To Fast..
somehow, the word "fasting" just came to my mind.. It has been a long time since I have such kind of experience with you in botanic gardens.. As such, I will be going thru a 2 days liquid fast.. For the next 2 days starting today, I will stick to only liquid with no solid food.. Like what Mike used to say, if you can blend a burger into juice for me, I will gladly drink it.. Haha.. I will also use this fasting to pray for David Chan's wedding, that david and joy will have a God Abiding, forever loving future.. I will break fast on Saturday, which will be David's wedding day..
Till Then, God bless all..
Thank you Lord for listening to your humble servant's prayer. May you answer my prayers in your way..
Thank you Lord,
All this I sincerely pray in Jesus' most precious name,
Amen.
Just visited Botanic Gardens again on Monday.. Have been going there for the past couple of Monday to have a personal quiet time with you alone..
This is the first time in many visits that I decided not to bring any bread with me so that I can focus fully on you alone..
I prayed for 3 things..
1. For Career
I have been out of job for some time now.. While I am looking into other sources of income, I have yet to get an income until now.. Lord, do show me the career that you want me to be in.. While money is not the main priority in my life perhaps, but I guess I still need a fairly decent amount to be able to sustain my lifestyle as well as for future usage.. Lord, do show me the way.
2. For Love
Lord, ShuShyan just got married last saturday. David will be getting married this saturday.. Haiz.. Lord, everyone is getting married le.. I had been praying to look for a partner who will accept me for who I am, a partner who is a God fearing one, who would worship you as I do.. Yet Lord, after the departure of Donna, I have yet to find that person.. There are many girls who come past my life, but mostly non-christians..
Perhaps I would have gone out with them in the past.. But since I study Corinthians in greater depth.. There is no way I am going to go against your teachings. Perhaps I am scared already.. Ever since so many incidents that had got to do with me getting too close to a non-christian, I am fearful already.. Its Christian, or there is no other girls..
Lord, I know of a nice Christian girl whom you showed to me some 1 year ago.. that was during the lowest point of my life.. Lord, is she the one, or is the one for me yet to appear? Do enlighten me Lord..
3. For Spirituality
Lord, I have been back sliding for some time now.. thankfully with you around I have been able to track my spiritual health and thus able to do the small things that I can do to stop the rot.. But there are still much to do and much to heal..
I guess my future lies beyond CCBC.. This is the first time i feel so strongly for this decision.. For the first time, Uncle Tim had offered me a route to another church, together with Aunty Mabel telling me that I have to be happy with the church before I can learn and grow in the Lord..
Indeed, I haven been growing for quite some time now.. Even EShen told me to leave the church, not because I want, but because I have to.. We share the same feeling that CCBC is no longer the church it used to be.. And himself, like me, find it so hard to move on to another church cos CCBC is still the first church we attended.. Its like asking someone to leave their home to go to somewhere unknown.. That is not a very nice thing to do or to experience..
Anyway, this is the first time I guess i got an answer from you.. To Fast..
somehow, the word "fasting" just came to my mind.. It has been a long time since I have such kind of experience with you in botanic gardens.. As such, I will be going thru a 2 days liquid fast.. For the next 2 days starting today, I will stick to only liquid with no solid food.. Like what Mike used to say, if you can blend a burger into juice for me, I will gladly drink it.. Haha.. I will also use this fasting to pray for David Chan's wedding, that david and joy will have a God Abiding, forever loving future.. I will break fast on Saturday, which will be David's wedding day..
Till Then, God bless all..
Thank you Lord for listening to your humble servant's prayer. May you answer my prayers in your way..
Thank you Lord,
All this I sincerely pray in Jesus' most precious name,
Amen.
Friday, February 18, 2011
A sweet Valentines' Day with You, My Lord!
Dear Lord,
thanks for spending another valentines' day with me.. Haha.. It seems kind of pathetic at times, cos you always seems to be the back up when I do not have a valentine, even thou You should be on the top of my list..
Lord, just want to update You on the things that happened since I last blogged..
1) PeiXia got married le.. on the 20th of Jan this year.. It was her first anniversary with her boyfriend.. Even Ms Wang said that the marriage was so fast.. Many people feels it should be a short-gun.. I pretty much differs from that thinking.. Cos I still have faith in Christians.. If her boyfriend, or now husband, is a real Christian, I feel their marriage is really due to choice rather than force.. Nevertheless, hope that she will be happy..
A year ago, I pray that if I am not the one who bring her to Christ, I hope someone will.. Hopefully, her husband will be able to bring her to you.. That is really my prayer for her.. Perhaps the last prayer request for her.. Not too nice to still bother too much when she has already got married, isnt it? Haha..
2) On the eve of Chinese New Year, I went to the temple to pray to my deceased Grandfather.. Missed him lots.. Time flies so fast, he has left us for more than 1 year already.. Yet his absence is still felt when I went to visit my grandmother.. She had moved to my elder aunty's house already.. But despite having more people in the house, I still find something lacking.. The laughters and the jokes were no longer there..
Lord, Is my grandfather with you? Have you accepted him into your kingdom? He is a nice soul ya.. If he is really with you, do help me to take good care of him, until we meet again.. Tell him to have a good relationship with you also, if not when I meet him again I sure will tickle him until he cry.. :D
3) Pastor Mike finally left for Thailand.. Will miss him a lot, since he was really the one who help me with my path with you, guiding me thru the bible and how to understand and know You better.. He is really the pastor I most admire, and most respect.. Without him, I really dunno what will become of me.. Thanks Lord, for giving me such a wonderful pastor in my life..
4) On Valentines' day this year, it was perhaps the first Valentines' Day I spent with you alone.. 2 years ago, I spent in AKLTG studying Speed Reading; Last year, I spent my 14th Feb mourning over the loss of my grandfather, so technically, this is the first year I am spending it with you..
Went to Botanic Gardens.. I really like that place.. As Mike and I will say, this is the place where you can keep you sanity intact.. I guess without this place, I would have either gone insane or got into a depression given the trials I have been thru' over the past 1 plus year..
Asked a lot of questions while in Botanic Gardens, but somehow I can never get a reply from you directly.. But if I see how the past 1 year had unveil itself, I could really see your works in my life, which is perhaps the reason why despite my steep backsliding, I am still considering myself as a Christian and accept you as my Lord and Saviour..
Febuary marks a special month for me since last year to be honest.. Especially the last day, the 28th of Febuary 2010.. That is a date that I will never day to forget.. Perhaps in time to come, it may no longer have any significance? I dunno.. But if that day is really a sign from you, I really hope you will be able to bring me thru to the end.. I really hope that date is your answer to my prayers, Lord..
Grace told me, she had been praying for 3 years before David Chan appears.. And after a good 1 year, they will be tying a knot this coming March.. And to be honest, her testimonial is something I have witness in David Chan's life, in how he led his life over the many years I know him since I first came into contact with the church..
Lord,
Is it really true that as long as I give you that pen, you will really draft me a love story? In all truth, I am still grabbing on to my pen.. I am scared.. I dare not give up full control of my life.. Cos it is really frightening.. Yet if you really need me to lose before you are willing to grant me my prayer request, I am more than willing to surrender entirely to you..
Lord, please give me strength so that I can continue this path with you.. Please give me full faith so that I can give you full control over my life, as well as that pen.. Please give me mercy, that you will forgive all my sins and clense me, Please give me wisdom, so that I know what is the next step you want me to take..
Lord, and may you bless Pastor Mike in everything he do.. Now that he is in Thailand, do keep a watchful eye over him.. His body is never really too healthy.. So do grant him health and wisdom to impart to the people is Thailand..
Thank You Lord..
All these, I asked in Jesus most precious name,
Amen
thanks for spending another valentines' day with me.. Haha.. It seems kind of pathetic at times, cos you always seems to be the back up when I do not have a valentine, even thou You should be on the top of my list..
Lord, just want to update You on the things that happened since I last blogged..
1) PeiXia got married le.. on the 20th of Jan this year.. It was her first anniversary with her boyfriend.. Even Ms Wang said that the marriage was so fast.. Many people feels it should be a short-gun.. I pretty much differs from that thinking.. Cos I still have faith in Christians.. If her boyfriend, or now husband, is a real Christian, I feel their marriage is really due to choice rather than force.. Nevertheless, hope that she will be happy..
A year ago, I pray that if I am not the one who bring her to Christ, I hope someone will.. Hopefully, her husband will be able to bring her to you.. That is really my prayer for her.. Perhaps the last prayer request for her.. Not too nice to still bother too much when she has already got married, isnt it? Haha..
2) On the eve of Chinese New Year, I went to the temple to pray to my deceased Grandfather.. Missed him lots.. Time flies so fast, he has left us for more than 1 year already.. Yet his absence is still felt when I went to visit my grandmother.. She had moved to my elder aunty's house already.. But despite having more people in the house, I still find something lacking.. The laughters and the jokes were no longer there..
Lord, Is my grandfather with you? Have you accepted him into your kingdom? He is a nice soul ya.. If he is really with you, do help me to take good care of him, until we meet again.. Tell him to have a good relationship with you also, if not when I meet him again I sure will tickle him until he cry.. :D
3) Pastor Mike finally left for Thailand.. Will miss him a lot, since he was really the one who help me with my path with you, guiding me thru the bible and how to understand and know You better.. He is really the pastor I most admire, and most respect.. Without him, I really dunno what will become of me.. Thanks Lord, for giving me such a wonderful pastor in my life..
4) On Valentines' day this year, it was perhaps the first Valentines' Day I spent with you alone.. 2 years ago, I spent in AKLTG studying Speed Reading; Last year, I spent my 14th Feb mourning over the loss of my grandfather, so technically, this is the first year I am spending it with you..
Went to Botanic Gardens.. I really like that place.. As Mike and I will say, this is the place where you can keep you sanity intact.. I guess without this place, I would have either gone insane or got into a depression given the trials I have been thru' over the past 1 plus year..
Asked a lot of questions while in Botanic Gardens, but somehow I can never get a reply from you directly.. But if I see how the past 1 year had unveil itself, I could really see your works in my life, which is perhaps the reason why despite my steep backsliding, I am still considering myself as a Christian and accept you as my Lord and Saviour..
Febuary marks a special month for me since last year to be honest.. Especially the last day, the 28th of Febuary 2010.. That is a date that I will never day to forget.. Perhaps in time to come, it may no longer have any significance? I dunno.. But if that day is really a sign from you, I really hope you will be able to bring me thru to the end.. I really hope that date is your answer to my prayers, Lord..
Grace told me, she had been praying for 3 years before David Chan appears.. And after a good 1 year, they will be tying a knot this coming March.. And to be honest, her testimonial is something I have witness in David Chan's life, in how he led his life over the many years I know him since I first came into contact with the church..
Lord,
Is it really true that as long as I give you that pen, you will really draft me a love story? In all truth, I am still grabbing on to my pen.. I am scared.. I dare not give up full control of my life.. Cos it is really frightening.. Yet if you really need me to lose before you are willing to grant me my prayer request, I am more than willing to surrender entirely to you..
Lord, please give me strength so that I can continue this path with you.. Please give me full faith so that I can give you full control over my life, as well as that pen.. Please give me mercy, that you will forgive all my sins and clense me, Please give me wisdom, so that I know what is the next step you want me to take..
Lord, and may you bless Pastor Mike in everything he do.. Now that he is in Thailand, do keep a watchful eye over him.. His body is never really too healthy.. So do grant him health and wisdom to impart to the people is Thailand..
Thank You Lord..
All these, I asked in Jesus most precious name,
Amen
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
2011 - A brand new start, A bright start
Dear Lord,
It's been a real long time since I last really wrote on this blog.. This blog is supposed to track my own spiritual walk with you, which I guess, really work in tracking.. When I am moving extremely closely with You, I was able to write lots of stuff and pray and chat with You like a close friend. But when I am drifting away from You, the number of my entries fell tremendously, and most of the entries are more of what I desires than what You desires..
Interesting discovery isnt it?
Anyway Lord, thanks for blessing me with such a wonderful start the a brand new year, with a nice outing to Science Centre with XY and EY.. This is definately a much better start as compared to 2010, where tears flows more than the rain..
And Lord, I really want to thank You for finally helping to send my Grandma to my aunt's place.. Ever since the decease of my grandfather, she had been extremely stubborn and not wanting to move away from her old house.. Which creates quite a big problem for the rest of us as we are afraid that she might meet into an accident cos she will be staying that alone.. But with Your Grace, she is still as healthy as before.. Lord, the one request I have over here is that You will be able to bring my entire family to You..
Lord, I guess I finally know what i should do.. Over the past 1 and a half year, I have been backsliding like nobody's business.. Forgiving was the key that Mike told me.. I guess I finally know what I should do to slowly move back on track with you.. One of my resolutions for the year 2011 is to go to church at least 40 times out of 52 weeks, which means I can only afford to miss church once per month.. I am not asking for more as I am doing my best to slowly move back to You.. Give me some time, Have mercy on me and accept me back to Your arms..
The problem about going to church for the time being is whether CCBC is the ultimate place for me to go.. Sharon has left CCBC, Mike has left CCBC, EShen has left CCBC.. All my closest mentor have all left CCBC, barring David Chan.. I am still in doubt whether I should follow suit or should I stay in CCBC..
Anyway, this Sunday most likely I will be going to LKBC for a visit.. Hopefully Pastor Jimmy would be the one preaching.. But the problem would be, what comes after this Sunday? I doubt I will go ARPC, cos while I like that church, something is stopping me from going.. I guess I know the reason.. Or should I go to ChangLoong's Church? Or should I try out Prinsep Street Pres Church again? Or perhaps, there are other churches out there that I may come to like.. Either way, I am still kind of lost..
Lord, do show me the way and which church to really settle in, especially now that Mike would no longer be around to help me, I will have to really stand on my own..
Thankyou Lord,
All This I Asked In Jesus Most Precious Name,
Amen!
It's been a real long time since I last really wrote on this blog.. This blog is supposed to track my own spiritual walk with you, which I guess, really work in tracking.. When I am moving extremely closely with You, I was able to write lots of stuff and pray and chat with You like a close friend. But when I am drifting away from You, the number of my entries fell tremendously, and most of the entries are more of what I desires than what You desires..
Interesting discovery isnt it?
Anyway Lord, thanks for blessing me with such a wonderful start the a brand new year, with a nice outing to Science Centre with XY and EY.. This is definately a much better start as compared to 2010, where tears flows more than the rain..
And Lord, I really want to thank You for finally helping to send my Grandma to my aunt's place.. Ever since the decease of my grandfather, she had been extremely stubborn and not wanting to move away from her old house.. Which creates quite a big problem for the rest of us as we are afraid that she might meet into an accident cos she will be staying that alone.. But with Your Grace, she is still as healthy as before.. Lord, the one request I have over here is that You will be able to bring my entire family to You..
Lord, I guess I finally know what i should do.. Over the past 1 and a half year, I have been backsliding like nobody's business.. Forgiving was the key that Mike told me.. I guess I finally know what I should do to slowly move back on track with you.. One of my resolutions for the year 2011 is to go to church at least 40 times out of 52 weeks, which means I can only afford to miss church once per month.. I am not asking for more as I am doing my best to slowly move back to You.. Give me some time, Have mercy on me and accept me back to Your arms..
The problem about going to church for the time being is whether CCBC is the ultimate place for me to go.. Sharon has left CCBC, Mike has left CCBC, EShen has left CCBC.. All my closest mentor have all left CCBC, barring David Chan.. I am still in doubt whether I should follow suit or should I stay in CCBC..
Anyway, this Sunday most likely I will be going to LKBC for a visit.. Hopefully Pastor Jimmy would be the one preaching.. But the problem would be, what comes after this Sunday? I doubt I will go ARPC, cos while I like that church, something is stopping me from going.. I guess I know the reason.. Or should I go to ChangLoong's Church? Or should I try out Prinsep Street Pres Church again? Or perhaps, there are other churches out there that I may come to like.. Either way, I am still kind of lost..
Lord, do show me the way and which church to really settle in, especially now that Mike would no longer be around to help me, I will have to really stand on my own..
Thankyou Lord,
All This I Asked In Jesus Most Precious Name,
Amen!
Monday, August 30, 2010
The weight of thoughts
Dear Lord,
These days I keep moving between happy and sad.. I always tot that I have gotten over my past, yet whenever things doesnt go my way in work, I have a tendency to start thinking about the past, start thinking about PX and the things that happened between the 2 of us..
I tried to remember only the happy memories and the fun that we used to have, but they seemed to get overwhelmed by the fact that it had a bad ending to that relationship..
I finally know where she is working.. But so what if I know? Nothing will change of its current status quo.. It is not as thou' she will suddenly change her attitude towards me if I go to that hospital to find her.. So what Your point of letting me find out where she is working?
Lord, sometimes my prayers are answered, sometimes they are not.. When I prayed for salvation, Cyn's were answered, another long time friend of mine is also half answered.. How about PX's? Will You save her before that dream of hers about her 21st came true?
Lord, please do Your best to help her? If she is not mine to help, then do send someone to Save her and bring her to You..
And Lord, will You not only grant her salvation, but also help me to salvage this relationship with her?
I am really sorry of asking this sort of question, cos it is more of my desire than Yours.. And I hadnt been fulfilling Your desires due to my fallen nature.. I am real sorry..
These days I couldnt even find the motivation to even go to church.. I dunno which church to go to anymore.. CCBC? LKBC? ARPC?
The last time when I will still attending ARPC was due to XY.. Now that she is happily settled in another church, I no longer have any motivation to go church.. I want to go back to CCBC, but couldnt let go.. I want to stay at LKBC for the time being, but I will always treat myself as a visitor over there.. ARPC is a church too big for me to find any love or friendship..
I am lost.. I am really lost.. Everyday is a day wasted for now.. I am using my hectic work schedule to stop myself from feeling the pain.. Yet time and time again, I am attacked by those memories..
Lord, I really need your help..
I have lost more than 1 year of my life gettng lost in the worldly place, not growing in you..
I have lost more than 1 year of my life learning how to forgive others, yet not being able to forgive myself..
I have lost more than 1 year of my life searching for you, yet cant find you, cos you are always supporting me from behind and I have never turn my head to find you..
I have lost more than 1 year of my life searching for love, but failed to realised that the greatest love had always been given to me, by You..
But so what if i really realised these things now? I am still unable to get myself out of this slump..
Can You, Lord, reach out Your hands to let me hold on to? To let me grab hold? To give me the warmth and love that I so badly needed?
Lord..
Your servant is crying for help here.....
All these I sincerely ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen.
These days I keep moving between happy and sad.. I always tot that I have gotten over my past, yet whenever things doesnt go my way in work, I have a tendency to start thinking about the past, start thinking about PX and the things that happened between the 2 of us..
I tried to remember only the happy memories and the fun that we used to have, but they seemed to get overwhelmed by the fact that it had a bad ending to that relationship..
I finally know where she is working.. But so what if I know? Nothing will change of its current status quo.. It is not as thou' she will suddenly change her attitude towards me if I go to that hospital to find her.. So what Your point of letting me find out where she is working?
Lord, sometimes my prayers are answered, sometimes they are not.. When I prayed for salvation, Cyn's were answered, another long time friend of mine is also half answered.. How about PX's? Will You save her before that dream of hers about her 21st came true?
Lord, please do Your best to help her? If she is not mine to help, then do send someone to Save her and bring her to You..
And Lord, will You not only grant her salvation, but also help me to salvage this relationship with her?
I am really sorry of asking this sort of question, cos it is more of my desire than Yours.. And I hadnt been fulfilling Your desires due to my fallen nature.. I am real sorry..
These days I couldnt even find the motivation to even go to church.. I dunno which church to go to anymore.. CCBC? LKBC? ARPC?
The last time when I will still attending ARPC was due to XY.. Now that she is happily settled in another church, I no longer have any motivation to go church.. I want to go back to CCBC, but couldnt let go.. I want to stay at LKBC for the time being, but I will always treat myself as a visitor over there.. ARPC is a church too big for me to find any love or friendship..
I am lost.. I am really lost.. Everyday is a day wasted for now.. I am using my hectic work schedule to stop myself from feeling the pain.. Yet time and time again, I am attacked by those memories..
Lord, I really need your help..
I have lost more than 1 year of my life gettng lost in the worldly place, not growing in you..
I have lost more than 1 year of my life learning how to forgive others, yet not being able to forgive myself..
I have lost more than 1 year of my life searching for you, yet cant find you, cos you are always supporting me from behind and I have never turn my head to find you..
I have lost more than 1 year of my life searching for love, but failed to realised that the greatest love had always been given to me, by You..
But so what if i really realised these things now? I am still unable to get myself out of this slump..
Can You, Lord, reach out Your hands to let me hold on to? To let me grab hold? To give me the warmth and love that I so badly needed?
Lord..
Your servant is crying for help here.....
All these I sincerely ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Guess it is goodbye for good
Dear Lord,
Is that phone call with PeiXia a sign from You to get me to move on in life?
I guess it is goodbye for good this time.. All the hopes of repairing the friendship, repairing the relationship is finally proven to be nothing but just dreams that will never come true.. All the prayers went unanswered, all the dream bubbles went blasting into nothing, all the wonderful memories shall stay as memories, never to be brought forward to the future..
Perhaps it is time to wake up, wake up from this dream, this dream that will never be turned into reality..
For the last couple of weeks, I had been going through many emotional roller-coaster.. To the extend that I feel extremely tired and want to give up on everything.. I used to think that my long hours in my work can help to suppress all my feelings and emotions, only to realised that suppressed feelings are just a potential ticking timebomb awaiting to explode..
So many things had gone past my life for the past 1 plus year.. To be more exact, after my baptism.. So many negativities surrounded me and the past year had proved to be extremely detrimental to my Christianity life..
Little did I realised that I can backslide to the extend that I am in now.. This blog is really something.. Right from day 1, where my spiritual health is at one of the highest peck, I claim that this blog will track my ups and downs in my spiritual well-being.. Now, I am really at lowest time since I accepted You, my Lord, into my life..
Forgiving, that is what Ps Mike had told me to do.. Forgive Others, Forgive yourself, and Ask for Forgiveness.
Even Lilly, who is not a Christian, told me that faith should come first so that I can get out of this slump..
Celeste, a mere 15 year old young girl, also told me to stay close to my Lord so as to overcome all my problems..
All these people are non-christians, yet all of them stood by me at this period of time..
All these people are non-christians, yet all of them told me to stay close to my faith..
All these people are non-christians, yet all of them knew better that you Lord, will get me through this period of time..
I thank you, Lord, for giving me angels after angels whenever I am in problematic situations..
In the past when I broke up with Don, you sent me David and Lilly to help me thru'.
Now, going thru a much rockier period, you sent me Celeste and Lilly to help me try to get out..
I really thankyou Lord.
While I may go back to my emotional status from time to time, at least I know I can seek comfort in you..
Lord,
this time round, may I be selfish and pray only for myself? Cos given my current status, chances are my prayers wont be heard.. So all I asked for is juz for myself, for the time being, until I am able to rekindler our relationship once more, Lord..
My prayers for myself would be that:
Lord, can You bring me back closer to you once again. My faith had been on a free fall for the past one year. Enough is enough. I wish to get back my faith in track. This slump in faith was much much worse than I had ever imagine. Lord, please give me the strength to overcome all obstacles that I may face, and let me move on from here.
Lord, also, please show me how to forgive others, and more importantly, how to forgive myself.. Everytime I have someone to forgive, I find it easier to forgive that person than myself. I always feel that I am at fault in everything. Lord give me strength, courage and wisdom to forgive others, forgive myself, as well as to seek forgivness from you.. I dare not seek forgivness from you yet, cos I feel that I would be extremely insincere given the fact that I still could forgive so many people, so many things and so many events.. Lord, I am sorry..
Lord, last but not least in this blog entry, please guide me through all these obstacles, continue to lead me towards you, continue to lead me to run towards that finishing line, so that I will be able to get my rewards from you, my reward of eternity with you..
Thanks Lord,
All these I sincerely asked in Jesus most preious name,
Amen!
Is that phone call with PeiXia a sign from You to get me to move on in life?
I guess it is goodbye for good this time.. All the hopes of repairing the friendship, repairing the relationship is finally proven to be nothing but just dreams that will never come true.. All the prayers went unanswered, all the dream bubbles went blasting into nothing, all the wonderful memories shall stay as memories, never to be brought forward to the future..
Perhaps it is time to wake up, wake up from this dream, this dream that will never be turned into reality..
For the last couple of weeks, I had been going through many emotional roller-coaster.. To the extend that I feel extremely tired and want to give up on everything.. I used to think that my long hours in my work can help to suppress all my feelings and emotions, only to realised that suppressed feelings are just a potential ticking timebomb awaiting to explode..
So many things had gone past my life for the past 1 plus year.. To be more exact, after my baptism.. So many negativities surrounded me and the past year had proved to be extremely detrimental to my Christianity life..
Little did I realised that I can backslide to the extend that I am in now.. This blog is really something.. Right from day 1, where my spiritual health is at one of the highest peck, I claim that this blog will track my ups and downs in my spiritual well-being.. Now, I am really at lowest time since I accepted You, my Lord, into my life..
Forgiving, that is what Ps Mike had told me to do.. Forgive Others, Forgive yourself, and Ask for Forgiveness.
Even Lilly, who is not a Christian, told me that faith should come first so that I can get out of this slump..
Celeste, a mere 15 year old young girl, also told me to stay close to my Lord so as to overcome all my problems..
All these people are non-christians, yet all of them stood by me at this period of time..
All these people are non-christians, yet all of them told me to stay close to my faith..
All these people are non-christians, yet all of them knew better that you Lord, will get me through this period of time..
I thank you, Lord, for giving me angels after angels whenever I am in problematic situations..
In the past when I broke up with Don, you sent me David and Lilly to help me thru'.
Now, going thru a much rockier period, you sent me Celeste and Lilly to help me try to get out..
I really thankyou Lord.
While I may go back to my emotional status from time to time, at least I know I can seek comfort in you..
Lord,
this time round, may I be selfish and pray only for myself? Cos given my current status, chances are my prayers wont be heard.. So all I asked for is juz for myself, for the time being, until I am able to rekindler our relationship once more, Lord..
My prayers for myself would be that:
Lord, can You bring me back closer to you once again. My faith had been on a free fall for the past one year. Enough is enough. I wish to get back my faith in track. This slump in faith was much much worse than I had ever imagine. Lord, please give me the strength to overcome all obstacles that I may face, and let me move on from here.
Lord, also, please show me how to forgive others, and more importantly, how to forgive myself.. Everytime I have someone to forgive, I find it easier to forgive that person than myself. I always feel that I am at fault in everything. Lord give me strength, courage and wisdom to forgive others, forgive myself, as well as to seek forgivness from you.. I dare not seek forgivness from you yet, cos I feel that I would be extremely insincere given the fact that I still could forgive so many people, so many things and so many events.. Lord, I am sorry..
Lord, last but not least in this blog entry, please guide me through all these obstacles, continue to lead me towards you, continue to lead me to run towards that finishing line, so that I will be able to get my rewards from you, my reward of eternity with you..
Thanks Lord,
All these I sincerely asked in Jesus most preious name,
Amen!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Confused state of mind
Dear Lord,
Haiz.. These few days I had been extremely confused.. The past and the present are all mixing themselves up and trumbling upon me..
I felt suffocated..
I dunno whats wrong with me anymore.. Or perhaps I know, just that I couldnt find a way out.. I am losing sight of you Lord. I am losing that grip upon you.. Haiz.. I need help, Lord..
What should I do?
Haiz.. These few days I had been extremely confused.. The past and the present are all mixing themselves up and trumbling upon me..
I felt suffocated..
I dunno whats wrong with me anymore.. Or perhaps I know, just that I couldnt find a way out.. I am losing sight of you Lord. I am losing that grip upon you.. Haiz.. I need help, Lord..
What should I do?
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
New Day, New Morning
Dear Lord,
Good morning~! Haha..
Have been so tired out these days, everyday after work.. To think that I am almost working 7 days a week is still unbelievable for me.. Last Sunday even thou I am not suppose to work, I still spend almost half my day with my pals at work.. Am I hardworking or what?
These few days I have been floating between my past, my present and my future.. Still need some time to sort things out, if I am able to that is.. Perhaps with my humanly ability I wont be able to, but with Lord, your help, I am sure I will emerge as a very much stronger person..
All I need now is time, and support..
Prayer List:
For XiaoYen,
She hasnt been feeling too well these couple of days. Has been sneezing and coughing.. Lord, please grant her with a pink of health so that she will be able to recover. Lord, please take good care of her.
For myself,
Lord, I haven been the best child You have these days. Finally realised what Mike had always said, that once I am working, I will know how much harder it is to stay close with the Lord. So dear Lord, do pull me close and rekinder our relationship. I love you, Lord. =)
And Lord, please grant me some time alone with you. These days I find it so hard to actually seek for the empty slots in my schedule to be able to find a nice quiet spot to pray to you..
All these I ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen
Good morning~! Haha..
Have been so tired out these days, everyday after work.. To think that I am almost working 7 days a week is still unbelievable for me.. Last Sunday even thou I am not suppose to work, I still spend almost half my day with my pals at work.. Am I hardworking or what?
These few days I have been floating between my past, my present and my future.. Still need some time to sort things out, if I am able to that is.. Perhaps with my humanly ability I wont be able to, but with Lord, your help, I am sure I will emerge as a very much stronger person..
All I need now is time, and support..
Prayer List:
For XiaoYen,
She hasnt been feeling too well these couple of days. Has been sneezing and coughing.. Lord, please grant her with a pink of health so that she will be able to recover. Lord, please take good care of her.
For myself,
Lord, I haven been the best child You have these days. Finally realised what Mike had always said, that once I am working, I will know how much harder it is to stay close with the Lord. So dear Lord, do pull me close and rekinder our relationship. I love you, Lord. =)
And Lord, please grant me some time alone with you. These days I find it so hard to actually seek for the empty slots in my schedule to be able to find a nice quiet spot to pray to you..
All these I ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Singapore Flyer Day
Dear Lord,
Thanks for giving me such a wonderful day.. Really enjoy the day, be it in church, the outing and the Singapore Flyer.. It was the first time I took the Singapore Flyer.. :D
The scenery at the Flyer was beautiful, everything about the day was beautiful.. It been a long time since I last had such a wonderful outing with a friend.. Perhaps the only downside of the day would be a lack of photos, then again, what more can I ask for?
Really thankyou Lord,
Prayer List:
For PeiXia,
It has been a long long time since I last contacted her, and I had lost touch with her already.. Lord, may you continue to protect her from all harms, and that I will be able to gather the courage to give her a call, be it for her, for myself or for anything else.. Lord, may You grant me to wisdom to close this chapter and move on..
For Aileen,
That she will be able to promote to BM within the next 2 months.. She had been stuck in the company for a long time and she is rather tired already.. If she dont move up, she will be moving out.. So Lord, please help her as thou you are helping your child..
For XiaoYen,
That she will be able to settle down in a church soon.. And that she will not be so tired out due to her job.. Her job seems so draining that she feels so drained after work.. Lord, pls grant her strength and health to continue in her job, and pls help her brother to be able to get a job in Singapore soon..
For myself,
Lord, over the past 2 months or so, I had grown up alot in Redwoods.. Lord, may you continue to look over me so that I will be able to progress fast in the company as well as to help Aileen to promote.. Lord, may you continue to protect my feet so that they will be able to last my journey in Redwoods.. Lord, may you grant me the wisdom and the discipline to be able to pray to you and constantly seeking for you..
All these I ask and thankyou in Jesus Name,
Amen
Thanks for giving me such a wonderful day.. Really enjoy the day, be it in church, the outing and the Singapore Flyer.. It was the first time I took the Singapore Flyer.. :D
The scenery at the Flyer was beautiful, everything about the day was beautiful.. It been a long time since I last had such a wonderful outing with a friend.. Perhaps the only downside of the day would be a lack of photos, then again, what more can I ask for?
Really thankyou Lord,
Prayer List:
For PeiXia,
It has been a long long time since I last contacted her, and I had lost touch with her already.. Lord, may you continue to protect her from all harms, and that I will be able to gather the courage to give her a call, be it for her, for myself or for anything else.. Lord, may You grant me to wisdom to close this chapter and move on..
For Aileen,
That she will be able to promote to BM within the next 2 months.. She had been stuck in the company for a long time and she is rather tired already.. If she dont move up, she will be moving out.. So Lord, please help her as thou you are helping your child..
For XiaoYen,
That she will be able to settle down in a church soon.. And that she will not be so tired out due to her job.. Her job seems so draining that she feels so drained after work.. Lord, pls grant her strength and health to continue in her job, and pls help her brother to be able to get a job in Singapore soon..
For myself,
Lord, over the past 2 months or so, I had grown up alot in Redwoods.. Lord, may you continue to look over me so that I will be able to progress fast in the company as well as to help Aileen to promote.. Lord, may you continue to protect my feet so that they will be able to last my journey in Redwoods.. Lord, may you grant me the wisdom and the discipline to be able to pray to you and constantly seeking for you..
All these I ask and thankyou in Jesus Name,
Amen
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sick and Scared..
Dear Lord,
I just took another day of off from work.. Still not in the best of condition to work, be it physically or mentally.. My throat is still hurting and my body is still relatively weak from the fever that I have had a couple of days back..
Then again, that only explains the physically part of my condition.. I am currently overwhelmed with thinking of my long term future in the company..
As I saw the doctor yesterday, I brought up the issue about the numbness I felt on my leg toe.. Initially I was so scared that it could be diabetes, but as it found out, there is nothing to do with diabetes, especially since I dun have the illness.. Instead, I got another terrible blow from the doctor..
He told me that the numbness came from the fact that I have been standing too long in a shoe that is totally not comfortable enough for my legs.. As such, the nerves around the toes area had been suffocated and were being badly damaged, since I didnt not "listen to my body" when the numbness was first felt.. While there is a chance of recovery, it will take lots of months for the nerves to return to it's orginal state.. However, if the nerves are too badly damaged, I may have to live with this "50% feeling" leg..
Suddenly, I realised that being a workaholic doesnt seems to bring you anywhere in terms of health.. In order to climb up the career progression chart of the company fast, I choose to turn a deaf ear to my body's complain, in the end, I have to suffer the consequences of it..
To think that just before starting work I was still reading "Where is God when it Hurts" by Philip Yancey.. To think that I was still pitying people who didnt not listen to their body when they had a chance.. Little did I expect it to happen on myself..
Haiz.. Lord, I am scared..
While I know that this 50% feeling of my left leg will not affect any of my current physical being or will it provide any hinderance to any of my activities, I still dun like the fact that I am not a 100% fully fit and healthy person..
What is the message You are trying to bring across here, Lord? Is this a lesson You want me to learn? Or am I thinking too much?
Either way, I still want to praise You for letting me learn and understand Philip Yancey's book, not only at a head knowledge level, but to actually live it to understand at a personal level.. This way, I will be able to relate and connect with the people whom I will be counselling in the future..
Thankyou Lord.
Up next is my Prayer List, Dear Lord.
For XiaoYen,
Lord, she seems so busy these days. While she does enjoy what she is working now, do protect her and shield her from any harm. Give her a pink of health so that she will be able to go thru' the hectic schedule unscattered..
For myself,
Lord, may you grant me health so that my body will be able to recover fully.
Thankyou Lord.
All this I ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen
I just took another day of off from work.. Still not in the best of condition to work, be it physically or mentally.. My throat is still hurting and my body is still relatively weak from the fever that I have had a couple of days back..
Then again, that only explains the physically part of my condition.. I am currently overwhelmed with thinking of my long term future in the company..
As I saw the doctor yesterday, I brought up the issue about the numbness I felt on my leg toe.. Initially I was so scared that it could be diabetes, but as it found out, there is nothing to do with diabetes, especially since I dun have the illness.. Instead, I got another terrible blow from the doctor..
He told me that the numbness came from the fact that I have been standing too long in a shoe that is totally not comfortable enough for my legs.. As such, the nerves around the toes area had been suffocated and were being badly damaged, since I didnt not "listen to my body" when the numbness was first felt.. While there is a chance of recovery, it will take lots of months for the nerves to return to it's orginal state.. However, if the nerves are too badly damaged, I may have to live with this "50% feeling" leg..
Suddenly, I realised that being a workaholic doesnt seems to bring you anywhere in terms of health.. In order to climb up the career progression chart of the company fast, I choose to turn a deaf ear to my body's complain, in the end, I have to suffer the consequences of it..
To think that just before starting work I was still reading "Where is God when it Hurts" by Philip Yancey.. To think that I was still pitying people who didnt not listen to their body when they had a chance.. Little did I expect it to happen on myself..
Haiz.. Lord, I am scared..
While I know that this 50% feeling of my left leg will not affect any of my current physical being or will it provide any hinderance to any of my activities, I still dun like the fact that I am not a 100% fully fit and healthy person..
What is the message You are trying to bring across here, Lord? Is this a lesson You want me to learn? Or am I thinking too much?
Either way, I still want to praise You for letting me learn and understand Philip Yancey's book, not only at a head knowledge level, but to actually live it to understand at a personal level.. This way, I will be able to relate and connect with the people whom I will be counselling in the future..
Thankyou Lord.
Up next is my Prayer List, Dear Lord.
For XiaoYen,
Lord, she seems so busy these days. While she does enjoy what she is working now, do protect her and shield her from any harm. Give her a pink of health so that she will be able to go thru' the hectic schedule unscattered..
For myself,
Lord, may you grant me health so that my body will be able to recover fully.
Thankyou Lord.
All this I ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen
Monday, May 17, 2010
Life @ Work/Church
Dear Lord,
Here I am again.. It been quite long since I last posted on this blog.. It has also been quite long since I really sit down and pray and chat with you.. My life has been extremely busy and too tired at times.. Work is really draining me.. For a type 6 to do a job meant for a type 3, I am extremely stressed up from time to time.. I still have yet to find the peace that I require in order to grow as a type 6..
Oh Lord, and I have just move back to LKBC again.. :D
Just went over to LKBC with XY on Sunday, which is yesterday. She prefers LKBC that ARPC. To me, it doesnt really makes much of a difference to me, since all along that is only 2 churches which I have in mind to stay for long term, ARPC and LKBC..
While I am still not too close with most of LKBC's people, at least I know most of the youths over there, if not all.. So in other words, I should be able to settle both XY and myself down there faster.
Lord, please help us to stay close to you while we continue to pursue Your words and wisdom.. The followings are some of my prayers for my dear friends and myself..
For LKBC,
Lord, I pray that you will be able to grant wisdom to Pastor Jimmy as he comes back from Sabatical leave next week, so that he will be able to impart his knowledge about you to the entire congregation without mistakes or misleadings..
For CCBC and CCBC youths,
Lord, while I may no longer be a regular in CCBC, I still do hope that the church will be able to stand strong and not fall apart. May you grant them the wisdom to know what is good for them and how to grow as a church, both in terms of numbers of people attending the service, as well as in terms of spiritual growth.
For Ps. Mike,
Lord, may you give him the strength and knowledge to impart to the people who are learning from him. Give him the discipline to learn more about You, to pray to You, and to transfer these knowledge to the people under his wings.
For PeiXia,
While she seem to have disappeared from my life, I still wish her well for everything that she partake.. Lord, may You send someone in Your name to help her to open her heart to accept you into her life.. May you show her that in this life that we are living, there is no other love greater than the love You have showered upon us.
For XiaoYen,
Lord, may you help her in everything she do. Do grant her health so that her current food intake may not harm her, but bless it to the use of her body. Lord, may you grant her the wisdom to grow in You and that she will find peace and joy wherever she goes. May you spread your wings of assurance and grace upon her that she will be able to settle down in a church and a cell gropu soon.
Last but not least,
For myself,
Lord, give me strength to be able to take the energy draining job. Grant me peace so that I will be able to do my job with peace in my mind and You in my heart, and so that I will no long stay stagnant and be able to move on in life. Grant me wisdom so that while I am doing with job, I will not forget to show others that You are Lord thru' my actions. Grant me discipline, so that I will always remember to pray to you, and to continue in my repairing of my relationship with You, Lord.
Thankyou for listening to my prayers, Dear Lord,
All these I pray in Jesus most precious name,
Amen
Here I am again.. It been quite long since I last posted on this blog.. It has also been quite long since I really sit down and pray and chat with you.. My life has been extremely busy and too tired at times.. Work is really draining me.. For a type 6 to do a job meant for a type 3, I am extremely stressed up from time to time.. I still have yet to find the peace that I require in order to grow as a type 6..
Oh Lord, and I have just move back to LKBC again.. :D
Just went over to LKBC with XY on Sunday, which is yesterday. She prefers LKBC that ARPC. To me, it doesnt really makes much of a difference to me, since all along that is only 2 churches which I have in mind to stay for long term, ARPC and LKBC..
While I am still not too close with most of LKBC's people, at least I know most of the youths over there, if not all.. So in other words, I should be able to settle both XY and myself down there faster.
Lord, please help us to stay close to you while we continue to pursue Your words and wisdom.. The followings are some of my prayers for my dear friends and myself..
For LKBC,
Lord, I pray that you will be able to grant wisdom to Pastor Jimmy as he comes back from Sabatical leave next week, so that he will be able to impart his knowledge about you to the entire congregation without mistakes or misleadings..
For CCBC and CCBC youths,
Lord, while I may no longer be a regular in CCBC, I still do hope that the church will be able to stand strong and not fall apart. May you grant them the wisdom to know what is good for them and how to grow as a church, both in terms of numbers of people attending the service, as well as in terms of spiritual growth.
For Ps. Mike,
Lord, may you give him the strength and knowledge to impart to the people who are learning from him. Give him the discipline to learn more about You, to pray to You, and to transfer these knowledge to the people under his wings.
For PeiXia,
While she seem to have disappeared from my life, I still wish her well for everything that she partake.. Lord, may You send someone in Your name to help her to open her heart to accept you into her life.. May you show her that in this life that we are living, there is no other love greater than the love You have showered upon us.
For XiaoYen,
Lord, may you help her in everything she do. Do grant her health so that her current food intake may not harm her, but bless it to the use of her body. Lord, may you grant her the wisdom to grow in You and that she will find peace and joy wherever she goes. May you spread your wings of assurance and grace upon her that she will be able to settle down in a church and a cell gropu soon.
Last but not least,
For myself,
Lord, give me strength to be able to take the energy draining job. Grant me peace so that I will be able to do my job with peace in my mind and You in my heart, and so that I will no long stay stagnant and be able to move on in life. Grant me wisdom so that while I am doing with job, I will not forget to show others that You are Lord thru' my actions. Grant me discipline, so that I will always remember to pray to you, and to continue in my repairing of my relationship with You, Lord.
Thankyou for listening to my prayers, Dear Lord,
All these I pray in Jesus most precious name,
Amen
Monday, April 5, 2010
Moving out of the darkness
Dear Lord,
Day by day, I know that you had been with me, even at my down-est time, you will be there for me.. Sometimes I may feel that you are not there, but whenever I looked back in my troubled times, I realised that I will always have the strength to move on, and the strength comes from none other than You..
Forgive, is one of the hardest thing to ever do.. With our strength alone, we will not be able to do it, but with You, I know that you will give me the strength.. Yet Lord, there are still some things that I couldnt let go, that I couldnt forgive..
Pride, one of the deadliest sin, the sin which causes Lucifer to fall from heavens.. Yet I am not one who likes to be looked down upon, as such, people who look down on me are never forgiven by me.. Lord, what should I do? In my heart I know that I should forgive, but I just cant.. On top of that, there are so many things in my life that I still cant forgive totally.. The events may have passed, but they truly existed before! I may not be angry anymore, but the events that happened then was still vivid in my memory.. Lord, please show me the way..
And Lord, after going to Botanic Gardens, trying to repair our relationship, I think I had moved back to You once again, while it may not be as close still, but at least I saw the improvement in myself..
Lord, on top of that, thanks for leading me to watch Stained Glass Masquerade, presented by the Believers. It was really an insightful musical concert.. Really gain alot of insights to Christianity life and the mask that we should not be wearing..
And Lord, last but not least, the followings are some of my prayers for my dear friends..
For Kristin,
Lord I pray that you will help her in any way possible.. That she will walk a life close to you and that you will lead her to a good future, a wonderful future with only sweet dreams and no nightmares..
For Celeste,
Lord I pray that you will give her the strength to study hard and score well in all her exams.. Lord, please reduce her stress and give her strength to move out of the emotional circle that she subconciously set up for herself to protect her pride.. Let her have a shoulder to lean on when needed, a shoulder to cry on when sad, a person to chat when down, and a group of close friends to share her joy with.
For PeiXia,
Lord, while I have not been in touch with her life for the past couple of months, may I pray that you will grant her the ability to overcome all grieves and sadness if there is any in her life.. Her big eyes are meant to glow and spread joy to the world, there should not be any room for tears.. Over time I had come to realisation that I may not be the person who will bring her to know you and to accept you, but still, Lord, please send someone down to soften her heart so that she will allow you into her life..
For CCBC Youths,
Lord I pray that they will grow in you.. Let this batch of CCBC's future be strong enough to hold up the church.. Let them not fall during times of trials, but let them grow stronger and emerge as spiritually strong christians who will do your word and make disciples.
For PS Mike,
Lord I pray that you will grant him spiritual discipline and wisdom, so that he will be able to impart his knowledge to the younger ones.
For XiaoYen,
Lord I pray that you will stay close to her and grant her mercy and wisdom.. She came to Singapore all alone to work, may you be with her and protect her, shield her from lonliness and give her strength to pass each day with happiness and joy..
Lord, last but not least, may you grant me wisdom to move on with my life.. For the past couple of months, my life had come to a standstill.. Too many things had happened that I am immoblised.. Lord, if it is your will, let me succeed in the things that I had in mind, so that I will be able to provide for the girl that is to come into my life according to your will.. May you prepare me so that when this girl cross path with me, I will be ready to let her enter into my life, that I will be spiritually ready to bring me and her to a whole new level in our spiritual life..
Thanks Lord for listening to your servant's prayers.
All these I sincerely ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen
Day by day, I know that you had been with me, even at my down-est time, you will be there for me.. Sometimes I may feel that you are not there, but whenever I looked back in my troubled times, I realised that I will always have the strength to move on, and the strength comes from none other than You..
Forgive, is one of the hardest thing to ever do.. With our strength alone, we will not be able to do it, but with You, I know that you will give me the strength.. Yet Lord, there are still some things that I couldnt let go, that I couldnt forgive..
Pride, one of the deadliest sin, the sin which causes Lucifer to fall from heavens.. Yet I am not one who likes to be looked down upon, as such, people who look down on me are never forgiven by me.. Lord, what should I do? In my heart I know that I should forgive, but I just cant.. On top of that, there are so many things in my life that I still cant forgive totally.. The events may have passed, but they truly existed before! I may not be angry anymore, but the events that happened then was still vivid in my memory.. Lord, please show me the way..
And Lord, after going to Botanic Gardens, trying to repair our relationship, I think I had moved back to You once again, while it may not be as close still, but at least I saw the improvement in myself..
Lord, on top of that, thanks for leading me to watch Stained Glass Masquerade, presented by the Believers. It was really an insightful musical concert.. Really gain alot of insights to Christianity life and the mask that we should not be wearing..
And Lord, last but not least, the followings are some of my prayers for my dear friends..
For Kristin,
Lord I pray that you will help her in any way possible.. That she will walk a life close to you and that you will lead her to a good future, a wonderful future with only sweet dreams and no nightmares..
For Celeste,
Lord I pray that you will give her the strength to study hard and score well in all her exams.. Lord, please reduce her stress and give her strength to move out of the emotional circle that she subconciously set up for herself to protect her pride.. Let her have a shoulder to lean on when needed, a shoulder to cry on when sad, a person to chat when down, and a group of close friends to share her joy with.
For PeiXia,
Lord, while I have not been in touch with her life for the past couple of months, may I pray that you will grant her the ability to overcome all grieves and sadness if there is any in her life.. Her big eyes are meant to glow and spread joy to the world, there should not be any room for tears.. Over time I had come to realisation that I may not be the person who will bring her to know you and to accept you, but still, Lord, please send someone down to soften her heart so that she will allow you into her life..
For CCBC Youths,
Lord I pray that they will grow in you.. Let this batch of CCBC's future be strong enough to hold up the church.. Let them not fall during times of trials, but let them grow stronger and emerge as spiritually strong christians who will do your word and make disciples.
For PS Mike,
Lord I pray that you will grant him spiritual discipline and wisdom, so that he will be able to impart his knowledge to the younger ones.
For XiaoYen,
Lord I pray that you will stay close to her and grant her mercy and wisdom.. She came to Singapore all alone to work, may you be with her and protect her, shield her from lonliness and give her strength to pass each day with happiness and joy..
Lord, last but not least, may you grant me wisdom to move on with my life.. For the past couple of months, my life had come to a standstill.. Too many things had happened that I am immoblised.. Lord, if it is your will, let me succeed in the things that I had in mind, so that I will be able to provide for the girl that is to come into my life according to your will.. May you prepare me so that when this girl cross path with me, I will be ready to let her enter into my life, that I will be spiritually ready to bring me and her to a whole new level in our spiritual life..
Thanks Lord for listening to your servant's prayers.
All these I sincerely ask in Jesus most precious name,
Amen
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Dear Lord,
I realised something today, the following entry will be on what I have discovered today..
If you think prayers are as easy as just talking and chatting with God about your life, try praying for someone whom you want to curse even more.. Try praying for the well being of that person and that he or she may be blessed by God in any possible ways..
Hard isnt it?
Honestly, who in the right frame of mind will actually want to pray for someone whom you hate so much? I doubt even the holiest of holiest person will be able to do that without the slightest frown or the slightest feeling of being forced to..
I, for one, is no different from all the fallen people out there, who finds it extremely hard to do that.. Sometimes, I cant help but find that the Bible is such a difficult text to comply with.. But as it is written in Matthew from 5:43 to 5:48
Mat 5:43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy'
Mat 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Mat 5:45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Mat 5:46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collecters doing that?
Mat 5:47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
Mat 5:48 be perfect, therefore, as you heavenly Father is perfect.
Haiz.. Honestly, I seriously want to just curse the guy whom so-to-speak have stolen her from me.. Yet somewhere deep inside me tells me that I should be praying for their relationship and pray that he will take good care fo her.. On top of that, I have to pray that if I am not the one who will bring her to Christ, let him be the one to harvest the seed which I had sowed.
Sometimes I cant help but wonder if God loves me so much, why would He give me some an "impossible" and "inhumane" task? I am the one being hurt here and yet I have to pray for the one who cause me this pain?
This spiritual path with God is really a tough one.. While I believe that I will grow to become a stronger person, a stronger Christian in the process, I can help but feel that the cross I am carrying with me now is so heavy and so painful..
Haiz..
Neverthelesss, God, if that is what you want from me, that will be what I will give to you.. While I still cant help but feel the pain and all, I will still do my best to do what is righteous in your eyes and the task that you have entrusted me with..
Lord.. Give me strength..
In Jesus most precious name I pray,
Amen
I realised something today, the following entry will be on what I have discovered today..
If you think prayers are as easy as just talking and chatting with God about your life, try praying for someone whom you want to curse even more.. Try praying for the well being of that person and that he or she may be blessed by God in any possible ways..
Hard isnt it?
Honestly, who in the right frame of mind will actually want to pray for someone whom you hate so much? I doubt even the holiest of holiest person will be able to do that without the slightest frown or the slightest feeling of being forced to..
I, for one, is no different from all the fallen people out there, who finds it extremely hard to do that.. Sometimes, I cant help but find that the Bible is such a difficult text to comply with.. But as it is written in Matthew from 5:43 to 5:48
Mat 5:43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy'
Mat 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Mat 5:45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Mat 5:46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collecters doing that?
Mat 5:47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
Mat 5:48 be perfect, therefore, as you heavenly Father is perfect.
Haiz.. Honestly, I seriously want to just curse the guy whom so-to-speak have stolen her from me.. Yet somewhere deep inside me tells me that I should be praying for their relationship and pray that he will take good care fo her.. On top of that, I have to pray that if I am not the one who will bring her to Christ, let him be the one to harvest the seed which I had sowed.
Sometimes I cant help but wonder if God loves me so much, why would He give me some an "impossible" and "inhumane" task? I am the one being hurt here and yet I have to pray for the one who cause me this pain?
This spiritual path with God is really a tough one.. While I believe that I will grow to become a stronger person, a stronger Christian in the process, I can help but feel that the cross I am carrying with me now is so heavy and so painful..
Haiz..
Neverthelesss, God, if that is what you want from me, that will be what I will give to you.. While I still cant help but feel the pain and all, I will still do my best to do what is righteous in your eyes and the task that you have entrusted me with..
Lord.. Give me strength..
In Jesus most precious name I pray,
Amen
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)